Can They Say This Online?!?!

Idaho Vandals Ladies White Boy Beater Tank Top

In Stock

Price: $13.95







I cut/pasted that description.  Really?!?!? Is that what these shirts are called now?  Weird, because the black tank is called:

adidas Idaho Vandals Ladies Black Pure Shooter Tank Top

But it's a few bucks more... wait, hmm..."pure shooter" -- is that name any better?!?! I think I like the shirt better nonetheless...and hey, thanks facebook for the shopportunity! I don't care how much BSU wins football games, UI is always #1 to me -- that's what an undergraduate alma mater stands for!

In closing may I say "GO VANDALS!"  (fist pump!)

Most Random Architectural Feature

In the lobby of a Gilbert medical office building...is that a, a WET BAR?  Or veggie sink?  I'm trying to figure out what possible purpose this could ever have served.  Of course, upon viewing it, I had an irresistable temptation to wash my hands BUT there is no towel dispenser and no visible trash can for said towels.  Just freaky. Was the architect visualizing impromptu happy hours in this lobby?!?!  Even more odd -- I spent about 4 months doing my x-ray clinical rotation in this building and do not recall this feature.  Okay, I was pregnant and stressed out but still.  I think Lo-CD would have picked up on this anachronism...I mean COME ON!

Strange Stress Relief...

levitating lounge chair (from 25 most ridiculous stress relief products)

The Personal Rockin’ Computer umm... chair (?) gently swings back and forth while you dally on your laptop. Retails for US$4,082 from a Swedish web site -- and no, the beautiful woman is not included.

Can I get this cheaper at ikea?  I mean, it doesn't really fit with my decor but...I could try to work it in...oh wait, am I supposed to sit upright in it???  Oh, hmmmm....

Deck the Halls with Christmas Cookies...

It is APRIL. Why are these cookies Christmas colors?!?! They do not even look good...so I asked if they had any other frosted cookies. The answer was no. Where are the spring cookies? Lola wanted a white cookie with pink frosting. Hey, Target, call me when those arrive!

Dude is that your car?!?!

Are those speakers attached to the A pillars?!?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! This is amazing, absurd, and hilarious.  There was no door handle and the door was actually taped shut...I think the vehicle was, at one point, a Geo Metro... Then my man behind the wheel pulls out some kind of touch screen phone and starts tapping away...so theoretically, his phone cost more than his vehicle!?!?  Hey...priorities...

Bad Bad Fashion: Georges Marciano Carmello Dress

Dear Reader:
Be honest if I'm off base here...but SERIOUSLY?!?!? Am I getting old? This doesn't even look good on the model!!!! PS It also comes in white and THAT also looks terrible on the model...I think I could get this same look at the Salvation Army for much much less than the $185 Georges Marciano pricetag...although some old lady will have worn it, and it might have pit stains... hmmmm....
Sincerely,
LoSpace

LoSpace PSA: the correct word is XERISCAPE

It's NOT "zeroscape." Xeriscape from the greek xeros meaning "dry."  Not zero, meaning, uh, zero. Lots of rocks and cactus and plants that don't need much water.

If you don't believe me (which, if you're reading this, you probably do) check wikipedia: The word xeriscaping is a portmanteau of xeros (Greek for "dry") and landscape. On a sidenote, may I just say I love the word "portmanteau" -- I so wish that would come back into usage (from literal French carry + cloak), it used to mean a big suitcase, but which through Lewis Carroll coinage means a combination of two words, as in Jabberwocky where "slithy" means "lithe and slimy" and "mimsy" is "flimsy and miserable." Oops, is my English major showing again (tugging clothing down surreptitiously)...

Back on topic, xeriscape could also be called "not safe for kidscape" ... but usually Arizona kids know to give the cactus a wide wide berth...

The Evil Empire Stays on My Naughty List

WalMart* (now with an asterisk instead of a star, why?!) remains stora non grata for me. I reluctantly made a minimal purchase there last week. Love the little message on the receipt...cleverly using that "dead space" to upsell the self checkout.  What target audience needs to be sold on using the self-checkout? Perhaps it is faster and easier, but "fun"?!?! Really? What freaks at WalMart think using a self checkout is "fun"? Is the word "convenient" too long or advanced for this space on the receipt?

In my experience, self checkout wasn't fast, either. The money sucker-in thingie kept rejecting my $1 bill. So I had to give it to the self checkout monitor and trade her for a less tattered one.  The funniest part was when she did a counterfeit exam on my rejected $1 bill, holding it up to the light and using her highly advanced counterfeit spotting skills to make sure I wasn't passing a fake SINGLE.  What?!?! Who would counterfeit $1 bills????!!! Apparently, a huge problem at WalMart...

Yes, still hating the Evil Empire...but laughing at it too.

Random Tuesday Thoughts

• I think the grandmother's clock is running faster every time I wind it, guess that's better than slower
• I don't like this Folger's Caramel Drizzle flavored coffee
• Glad another InFusion Groove class is over; I gotta get more comfortable teaching that format
• But it did feel like a good workout
• What is it, like 67 degrees in here
• I like this book I'm reading EL Doctorow's Homer and Langley
• Need to get to t-mobile and get a new phone

Random photo from Google I'm Feeling Lucky, Images:

Nice tie-in to Night at the Museum 2!! Good night!

Liberty Market: MWH MW MW MW MH

Liberty Market is awesome (from the Joe's concept restaurants, also love Joe's Farm Grill...) but the bathrooms are different -- sinks for everybody on the right and this row of doors on the left.  Applauding the concept of unisex, which cuts down wait times, but just a little curious...ok, couldn't resist, had to peek in and see what made the last bathroom "room" MH only -- it had just a low urinal, maybe 30 inches off the floor. Which actually, would be perfect for the 6-9 year old pee-ers. I am going to send my son in there next time to try it out...because really, if you're a man in a wheelchair, is that where you would want to pee?!?! I'm just sayin...

Placebo Buttons and Distracters

 

How hard can it be?  This is an elevator in a 2 story Barnes & Noble store. I think I'm the only one who uses it, because the kids think it's fun (hooray for free entertainment)...along with riding the "excalator" up and down.  It has a front door and a back door -- which explains the 1R and 2R buttons (rear door). But I have no idea why it needs 4 open and close door buttons.

A friend of mine said these are placebo buttons anyway; they don't actually change the door's timing, they are put there to placate impatient people like me -- those of us who are trying to get the doors to open or close faster. Ok, that makes sense, but why the extras in the fourth row?!? Does the vertical line represent a person?  Are we supposed to use them when someone is standing in the door, and you want to avoid crushing, or speed up the crushing?!? They're kind of like a fast forward button, but the vertical line is in the wrong place. In the time it takes to try to decipher what these buttons even do, the doors would already be opened, or closed. I'm so confused. And in the time it takes to travel ONE floor, I still can't figure it out.

Insights, anyone?!?!

Latisse by Allure -- or -- Genetics?!?!

This product, Latisse, makes your eyelashes thicker. Apparently, it really works, though if you stop using it, lashes return to their former state. WHAT?!?! I think I've heard of a product like that...it's called "mascara!" And you have to have a doctor prescribe it! One site called it "the gateway drug to Botox"... again, what? Lashes and wrinkles?!?! Totally different vanity departments, hello!  But annnywaaaaaaaay, thanks drug industry for creating another solution in search of a problem.

 

Or you could just be genetically lucky lucky like my offspring, she looks like the after photo right now!!!

And of course, the firstborn, destined to break the hearts of girls who love lashes everywhere (his are even shiny - how is that possible?!?!):

Thanks but no thanks, Latisse, I think I'll go ahead and stick with OTC mascara for now...gateway to Botox, whatever (still muttering epithets...).

Valentines Gift Idea

I was sorting through some storage boxes in the garage yesterday. Seriously, yesterday. I found this in with a box of vases. Timing: impeccable. Perfect for Valentines Day!! Can't remember where it came from or when or why it was being stored, but it seems like the EFL proofreader was asleep during this production shift. Meh, socks, shoes, foot coverings, whatever...I also like the odd and unnecessary space between "socks" and the exclamation point. It even comes in a nice white giftbox. Who is deserving of this gem?!?! (silence)...

It's Official: Google Has a Sense of Humor

I went to Google to check and edit the listings for work. Pleasantly shocked and amazed to find proof that Google has a sense of humor! And, I'd say, some British employees, based on the "fiddly bits" syntax. See "downtime" explanation below, seen earlier today:

Help



Temporarily Unavailable

The Google Local Business Center is unavailable for the next hour
We appreciate your patience as we perform some routine system maintenance.


More specifically, we're updating 'the backend' (to employ that catchy, catchall moniker coined and lent to us by engineering folks who work on all of the technical fiddly bits behind the scenes but know we communications folks can't very well say 'We're updating all of the technical fiddly bits behind the scenes' and expect you, an enlightened Google user, to take us seriously or at least not wonder aloud ' Wait, what sort of bits were those again?').

So please check back in sixty minutes. Maybe less, considering the time you've invested in deciphering this message.

I particularly like the "maybe less, considering" closer...nice bits, Google!

Label-less In Oklahoma

My new dishwasher has a flipout attachment on the top rack with these little undulating pieces. Fortunately, there is a silhouette icon of what you are supposed to use them for: securing a stemmed glass! Awhile ago I was talking to Lori Max in Oklahoma 73130 and her dishwasher has the same attachment, but no icon. So for two years she didn't know what they were designed for! I helpfully sent this picture to illustrate my icon and proper usage. Consider this a little LoSpace PSA for anyone else whose dishwasher is missing this vital clue!

That's An Idea: A BAD One

Another favor brought to us by AsSeenOnTV (perpetrator of BumpIts without red). Zoom across any carpeted room! Slide! Grind! What red-blooded skate-punk kid with a flight of stairs isn't going to try these out on the incline? Even at my advanced age, I don't think I could resist the siren call of that velocity. Not a helmet or a parent in sight. How about every aquarium and antique in the line of fire?!?! Maybe this is just my MBA talkin here, but isn't there some liability for the manufacturer? The vendor? Oh my...I am inexplicably tempted, and repelled. Injury report to follow.

That Annoying Package of Yarn...

For years when I buy a sweater, they've included a little baggie with yarn that matches the sweater. And I save these. Why? Are they like paint swatches to keep in my purse, when shopping for matching and coordinate garments? Are they for mending the sweater if it snags or tears? Right, because so many of us know how to knit these days...I can just see me busting out some tiny little knitting needles to darn my snagged sweater. Maybe what I should be asking is why do I still have six or eight in my closet?

Clearly, Discrimination Against Redheads!

So wrong on so many levels! Bumpits do not come in RED!! Their website says "Available in 4 shades for a perfect color match." They LIE!!! Without red, there is no perfect color match!

The website order form says:
Which Bumpit color would you like?
Light Blonde
Medium Blonde
Brunette
Black

Where is the RED?!?! AsSeenOnTV, I don't even know you anymore...

Not even remotely appealing...

Hello, fashion people, are you comatose?!?! The 70's cowl neck meets a blazer from my junior high closet, Farah's hair, and boyfriend jeans circa late 80's. Add in the season's hottest high heeled booties and you have, uh, a mess?!? No, let's say disaster.

When an outfit looks this bad on the model, how is LOFT going to stay in business?!?!

Who buys this?

I have banned cartoon and movie character bedding from the kids' rooms. And, in the interest of fairness, my own room as well (I believe in living by example). It's too crass and commercial! Of course, Rome asked for Bakugan or Pokemon bedding. Ewwww! But clearly, there is worse ... much worse: WWE bedding -- seriously? Why is there so much bad taste in this world??? Then, the display picture is taken in an absurdly neutral model bedroom setup with all white walls, nightstand, and pine-tone hardwood floors. Words fail me. I have to stop now.