Patio Furniture + Craigslist = Hilarious Shopping

I'm looking for some patio furniture on craigslist, which has brought me so much joy.

First ROFL:  I'm looking for patio furniture, not furniture that was left ON THE PATIO.  These are two very different things.

Second ROFL: it's WROUGHT iron, not ROT iron.  I really don't want to buy anything rotten on craigslist, or anywhere else...

Third ROFL: "Outdoor Swaing with built in awning" -- to remind you of that old country song, "We Was Swaingin!!!"

Fourth ROFL:

Let me summarize the ad for you:  "Hey, my dog chewed this up.  Do you want to pay me $30 to haul it away for me?!?!?" 
REALLY?!?! One word:  Goodwill!

I love craigslist!!!

Perhaps the Worst Use Ever of a Perfectly Good Giraffe...

Really, Signals Catalog?!?!  And just in time for Christmas...but!  How insulting to giraffes...and the humans who use toilet paper.  Signals, you are supposed to offer "gifts that inform, enlighten & entertain" but this is somehow patently wrong.  And what makes it worse is that it is difficult to quantify the wrongness of it.  Perhaps proportion? Juxtaposition?  It is undeniably tacky in design, but not material, and reminiscent of the stuff from what we used to call "The Tacky Catalog," the direct mail piece that we got back in the 80's.  Which closely approximated, but was not Lilian Vernon.

This post is dedicated to Laura (Jane).

Another WT Product...no, not White Trash..."What the?"

I'm just offended about the price point.  Sure, if you want people stepping on your initial before they come in the house, cool -- that's fine.  But FORTY BUCKS?!?!  Uh, no, that's ridiculous. I'm not paying $39.98 for my visitors to wipe their feet on my "G."  Hey, I have standards.  (Scoffing noise)...

Halloween 2010 Rocked!

Back to Rock Street for Halloween -- apparently, it's just the place to be. This year, Roman was not ailing (he noted that last year he had H2O -- ummm, I think he meant H1N1 not confirmed really but anyway...). So, here's a little rundown of the costumery. Nota bene, Lanes got to dress up Friday for school so there are some extras.  She also wore Romes old Power Rangers costume to Target one night last week and we joke trick or treated the dry cleaners and that night guy needs a sense o' humor ... I mean COME ON!
PS I didn't make the cube; his dad did:  awesome!

Bonus looks: Lanes showing her "Twilight audition face" - move over Team Edward!

Also, she can do Disney like nobody's business:

I mean, is that Minnie Mouse or what?!?!  And don't mess with Rubik; he will put you in your place!

Another great costume year in the books. This was FUN.

She's Got No Shoes On!!!

Lanes received the above toy for participating in a consumer research study. And I love that Polly has a blender and 2 fruit-garnished beverages in her GLAM-per (it's not a camper!). Good news: both front seats have a seat belt! Yah! Polly is safe in a collision. And...after the beach bonfire o' fun, Polly sleeps up top with a silver chandelier...how camp is that?!? I need to camp with a silver chandelier...seriously!

Further, may I add, Romes noted that Polly was shoeless after Lanes fell asleep.  Oh well, a good camping trip doesn't need shoes, right?!?! Also, he broke the accessory palm tree, and mom fixed it. I videotaped the evidence, but it was sideways. Not worth the upload. Work with me here.  Have a drink from Polly's Glamper blender; I'm sure she knows what she's doing on the mixology...

Who's Adorable?

Here are the darlings! September 2010, Kiddie Kandids back in business...we went on a Thursday. You do the math.

The Wonders of Asparagus

Yes! Asparagus! It doesn't just make your pee stink (because of an enzyme)...Check out what Dave "Unpronounceable Last Name" Zinczenko says about asparagus:


Hung over? Choose asparagus. When South Korean researchers exposed a group of human liver cells to asparagus extract, it suppressed free radicals and more than doubled the activity of two enzymes that metabolize alcohol. That means you'll feel like yourself again twice as quickly.

THANK YOU DAVE!!!  The rest of the article was actually pretty good too -- check it out.
But wait, there's more:  Health Benefits of Asparagus


Oh hey, inquiring minds want to know: how would the effects work if we eat the asparagus with the beverages?!?! Just sayin...

Closing note: my dad pronounces it "asper-grass" as a joke, which I just think is funny.  That goes with his "insulted" vest...