Thoughts and photos by Lois. It's supposed to be funny, or thought-provoking, or both.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Before & After Contest

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! LoSpace wins "Even When You're Not, You're Hot" Award. Like Joe Dirt said, "You can't have no in your heart." I'd like to thank my stylist, Debbie Saenz, a goddess and genius. Also Dr. Derek Gochnour, my orthodontist in Boise, Idaho. May I also acknowledge Smashbox cosmetics for their contribution to my look!

Move over Oprah, here's our own local version. It's part of a contest. I could explain, but I won't. Let me just say, there's a reason for hair/makeup/photography professionals.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Get Your OWN Palin Family Name

Whether you love her or hate her, you have to admit -- those kids have unique names. Now thanks to a genius AK blogger, you can get your very own Palin Family Name! Come on - it'll be fun!

Snooker Hinge Palin

Monday, September 22, 2008

All New Better Dead Than Red!

Warning: This material may be offensive to fans of McCain and/or Communism. And possibly of elephants and army-navy surplus stores. Read further at your own risk!!!
PS I am not very good at Photoshop . . .
PPS And how cool is my sister for still being able to find this t-shirt in her closet in 2008?!?!

Sometime in the early 80's my sister was on a school trip that included a stop in Sandpoint, ID (yes that Sandpoint). She got a "Better Dead Than Red" shirt at the army-navy surplus store. Recently we were laughing at the new connotation of "red" as in "red states" and what the shirt meant now. So we remade the shirt -- for the new political "red" . . . see the progression above.

#1 Original
#2 Slammed in focus groups for seeming to link McCain with Communism
#3 Ok, no hammer and sickle. Hmmm, needs a little something more
#4 Now that's more like it!

Get your orders in now!

Friday, September 19, 2008

They're Called "Athletic" Thighs . . .

So my friend Myra gives me some Lucky Jeans -- they have shrunk and are now too short for her. It is sad that I wear the same size jeans as someone 4 inches taller than me, but . . . oh well, you win some and you lose some, jeans and genes.

I do not want to hem them, which would require getting out my darling vintage portable Bernina sewing machine, which is older than me, so I try shrinking them . . . at this point I must explain that the salesperson at Lucky Jeans said you can shrink them several inches in the dryer (thus the hand-me-down from Myra, because they did shrink in length -- too much!). After some hot water/hot dryer therapy, the jeans seem a little shorter -- but here's the catch: now the thighs fit perfectly BUT they are too long and too big in the waist. In fact, the thighs are now tight enough to hold up the top of the pants! The athletic thighs strike again!

Yes, I call them athletic thighs -- and in their honor, I have created the Shawn Johnson Athletic Thighs Award. I love this girl -- what an athlete. In fact, if you do not love Shawn, just feel free to move to China right now. And through judging manipulation that will surprise no one, I have awarded the inaugural SJAT medal to myself!! In closing, may I say, "You go Shawn -- kicking @$$ for athletic thighs everywhere!"

Unfortunately, in a cruel twist of fate, these jeans would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long for Shawn . . .

Monday, September 15, 2008

Make Your Own Gap Ad

Here are all my parents' grandkids. Words cannot say how great they are, or how much I love them, or how much fun it is to have this picture. So . . . just, here it is.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

I Mean Really -- Who Reads These?

When you were shopping for your most recent house purchase (or even your first house), any realty listing with "cottage" in the description (often accompanied by the term "charming") was probably red flagged in your mind, because cottage is a realtor euphemism for "small." So today I'm looking at a fundraiser email where they have a million magazines for sale and one of them is Cottage Living. How specialized is that? Who are their loyal readers? How do the editors devise new and creative articles month after month, issue after issue? Obviously, these people are professionals.

I also noticed the eye-catching, yet disturbingly "which of these things is not like the other" title Garden and Gun. How did these two items hook up in the publishing industry? I would love to take a peek at their demographics, I can tell you.

In my neighborhood, and across central and southern Arizona, and maybe even a great deal of California, we need our own "living" publication . . . maybe we could call it Suburban Stucco "Life in the Southwest Subdivision".

Here are some proposed articles . . . c'mon, who's with me?
"Fixing the Cracks -- for Good"
"Sun Screams: Pretty Windows That Beat The Heat"
"Lifetime Roof Tile Warranty: Dream or Reality"
"Harrassment by HOA -- Are YOU Compliant?"
"Best Use of Tandem Garages, 2008 Contest Winners"
"New Build or Existing Home, How I Chose" (Drama in Real Life)
"A Clean, Well Lighted Shed: Keeping it Invisible from Surrounding Properties"
"Easement Shmeasement -- How One Family Makes Four Feet Seem Like Ten"

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

RNC Repeats "Creativity" With Old White Guy Speakers

How disappointing and frankly, lame. Harkening back to 2004, the RNC once again turns to disillusioned and disenfranchised (and pretty much disowned) members of the Democratic party to speak at their convention. Is this their best and brightest? Can they not find someone younger, more energizing, and non-polarizing who is actually an (R) to speak?
2004 Convention: Zell Miller, age in 2004: 72
2008 Convention: Joe Lieberman, age in 2008: 66
Are these men the future of the party? Great -- really appealing.

And if Sarah Palin continues to call the Iraq debacle a "task from God," I think people, and not just McCain's campaign organizers, need to get pretty scared. It reminds me of the speech that crazy French archeologist makes in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

(AP quote: "Our national leaders are sending them out on a task that is from God," she said. "That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that plan is God's plan." This from a speech in Alaska, June 2008).

Monday, September 01, 2008

Roman Starts the Big K (blog backlog from 8/11)

Roman is pictured at left attending Meet the Teacher night, Polytechnic Elementary. Roman's charter school is affiliated with ASU so Sparky was in the house! On right, first day of school: ready to rock with new backpack and all! This charter school touts tailored instruction with an individual learning plan for each student. We'll be heading to a PT conference in a couple of weeks to check out what they'll be throwing Roman's way. I hope it's a good challenging curriculum but I'm okay if they hold off on particle physics til spring semester...

More Congratulations to Sarah Palin -- Soon to Be Grandmother!!

No wonder Bristol (far R) looks stressed out in this picture!

(from the AP 9/1/08) Sarah and Todd Palin say their 17-year-old unmarried daughter is pregnant. John McCain's running mate Sarah Palin said Monday that her 17-year-old unmarried daughter is five months pregnant, an announcement aimed at rebutting Internet rumors that Palin's youngest son, born in April, was actually her daughter's. A statement released by the campaign said that Bristol Palin will keep her baby and marry the child's father. Bristol Palin is five months pregnant, and the baby is due in late December.

As long as we're checking out the daughters, Willow looks like she's wishing she had a different kind of drink in her hand!!

Now: what are the odds that in one calendar year you can (1) have a baby (2) be selected as the first ever woman on a Repubbly ticket and (3) have a grandchild?!?!?! Pretty slim chances I'd say. This is one for the history books. And the pro-lifers.