Thoughts and photos by Lois. It's supposed to be funny, or thought-provoking, or both.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Saying of the Year(s)...

It's a 16x17 plaque from Hip & Humble, the coolest boutique in SLC. Would it be weird if I buy nine of these and hang them in a 3x3 pattern in my kitchen??? And buy more for all my friends???  I call it DECORATING!!!

Friday, December 03, 2010

Patio Furniture + Craigslist = Hilarious Shopping

I'm looking for some patio furniture on craigslist, which has brought me so much joy.

First ROFL:  I'm looking for patio furniture, not furniture that was left ON THE PATIO.  These are two very different things.

Second ROFL: it's WROUGHT iron, not ROT iron.  I really don't want to buy anything rotten on craigslist, or anywhere else...

Third ROFL: "Outdoor Swaing with built in awning" -- to remind you of that old country song, "We Was Swaingin!!!"

Fourth ROFL:
Let me summarize the ad for you:  "Hey, my dog chewed this up.  Do you want to pay me $30 to haul it away for me?!?!?" 
REALLY?!?! One word:  Goodwill!

I love craigslist!!!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Perhaps the Worst Use Ever of a Perfectly Good Giraffe...

Really, Signals Catalog?!?!  And just in time for Christmas...but!  How insulting to giraffes...and the humans who use toilet paper.  Signals, you are supposed to offer "gifts that inform, enlighten & entertain" but this is somehow patently wrong.  And what makes it worse is that it is difficult to quantify the wrongness of it.  Perhaps proportion? Juxtaposition?  It is undeniably tacky in design, but not material, and reminiscent of the stuff from what we used to call "The Tacky Catalog," the direct mail piece that we got back in the 80's.  Which closely approximated, but was not Lilian Vernon.

This post is dedicated to Laura (Jane).

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Another WT, not White Trash..."What the?"

I'm just offended about the price point.  Sure, if you want people stepping on your initial before they come in the house, cool -- that's fine.  But FORTY BUCKS?!?!  Uh, no, that's ridiculous. I'm not paying $39.98 for my visitors to wipe their feet on my "G."  Hey, I have standards.  (Scoffing noise)...

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Halloween 2010 Rocked!

Back to Rock Street for Halloween -- apparently, it's just the place to be. This year, Roman was not ailing (he noted that last year he had H2O -- ummm, I think he meant H1N1 not confirmed really but anyway...). So, here's a little rundown of the costumery. Nota bene, Lanes got to dress up Friday for school so there are some extras.  She also wore Romes old Power Rangers costume to Target one night last week and we joke trick or treated the dry cleaners and that night guy needs a sense o' humor ... I mean COME ON!
PS I didn't make the cube; his dad did:  awesome!
Bonus looks: Lanes showing her "Twilight audition face" - move over Team Edward!
Also, she can do Disney like nobody's business:
I mean, is that Minnie Mouse or what?!?!  And don't mess with Rubik; he will put you in your place!
Another great costume year in the books. This was FUN.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

She's Got No Shoes On!!!

Lanes received the above toy for participating in a consumer research study. And I love that Polly has a blender and 2 fruit-garnished beverages in her GLAM-per (it's not a camper!). Good news: both front seats have a seat belt! Yah! Polly is safe in a collision. And...after the beach bonfire o' fun, Polly sleeps up top with a silver camp is that?!? I need to camp with a silver chandelier...seriously!

Further, may I add, Romes noted that Polly was shoeless after Lanes fell asleep.  Oh well, a good camping trip doesn't need shoes, right?!?! Also, he broke the accessory palm tree, and mom fixed it. I videotaped the evidence, but it was sideways. Not worth the upload. Work with me here.  Have a drink from Polly's Glamper blender; I'm sure she knows what she's doing on the mixology...

Monday, October 04, 2010

Who's Adorable?

Here are the darlings! September 2010, Kiddie Kandids back in business...we went on a Thursday. You do the math.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

The Wonders of Asparagus

Yes! Asparagus! It doesn't just make your pee stink (because of an enzyme)...Check out what Dave "Unpronounceable Last Name" Zinczenko says about asparagus:

Hung over? Choose asparagus. When South Korean researchers exposed a group of human liver cells to asparagus extract, it suppressed free radicals and more than doubled the activity of two enzymes that metabolize alcohol. That means you'll feel like yourself again twice as quickly.

THANK YOU DAVE!!!  The rest of the article was actually pretty good too -- check it out.
But wait, there's more:  Health Benefits of Asparagus

Oh hey, inquiring minds want to know: how would the effects work if we eat the asparagus with the beverages?!?! Just sayin...

Closing note: my dad pronounces it "asper-grass" as a joke, which I just think is funny.  That goes with his "insulted" vest...

Monday, August 23, 2010

Wow, now Julia Roberts is a face of Lancome!! This will date me, but I loved when they had Isabella Rossellini.  Personally, also not liking this look for Julia -- she looks pale and horsey in this shot. Julia! Girl!  Eat, pray, or love your way to better makeup if you keep this contract!

Also, someone quoted her as saying she doesn't do Botox because she wants her kids to know when she's mad. to Botox, yes YES YES to Photoshop.  Gotcha.

Finally, Lo wants to try this mascara badly!!! Anyone used this?  Comments?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Happy Birthday Superman!

MPG, you amaze me. I wish I had pictures of the next great years. Here's to 46!

Photo credit: WMU the 80's!!!

Monday, August 09, 2010

Can They Say This Online?!?!

Idaho Vandals Ladies White Boy Beater Tank Top

In Stock
Price: $13.95

I cut/pasted that description.  Really?!?!? Is that what these shirts are called now?  Weird, because the black tank is called:

adidas Idaho Vandals Ladies Black Pure Shooter Tank Top

But it's a few bucks more... wait, hmm..."pure shooter" -- is that name any better?!?! I think I like the shirt better nonetheless...and hey, thanks facebook for the shopportunity! I don't care how much BSU wins football games, UI is always #1 to me -- that's what an undergraduate alma mater stands for!

In closing may I say "GO VANDALS!"  (fist pump!)

Happy 4th Laney Ry!

Magical Build-A-Bear birthday party: check!
Starring a host of gorgeous girlies: check!
Tie-dye cake that matches my dress: check!

What a birthday!
(belatedly blogged by beleaguered mom)

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Phantom Meets Girl Style

When you put a kid in an adult sized mask -- it's WEIRD!

Check out the girl looking ready for Cirque du Soleil...or Halloween...or Mardi Gras.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Job Opportunity...Help Wanted

I can't decide if this is real or a joke.  This sentence is the kicker: "Our corporate clients expect the best so be prepared to cheer for the most mundane of corporate accomplishments."

Who wrote that?  Is this for real?  Who uses this service?!?  How much would they pay the umbrella girl?

I guess it's just another example of our "service-oriented" economy -- can't ship this job offshore...

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Most Random Architectural Feature

In the lobby of a Gilbert medical office that a, a WET BAR?  Or veggie sink?  I'm trying to figure out what possible purpose this could ever have served.  Of course, upon viewing it, I had an irresistable temptation to wash my hands BUT there is no towel dispenser and no visible trash can for said towels.  Just freaky. Was the architect visualizing impromptu happy hours in this lobby?!?!  Even more odd -- I spent about 4 months doing my x-ray clinical rotation in this building and do not recall this feature.  Okay, I was pregnant and stressed out but still.  I think Lo-CD would have picked up on this anachronism...I mean COME ON!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Happy Early Romes!

When your bday is 7-2, take all you can get.  Little early but we have to celebrate when we can.  Almost 7 and beyond awesome! Also, when you're in the cage, live it up!!!

How bout the coolest kid you ever saw?

Photo credit: Boise June 2010. Jacket -- navy surplus?!?!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

June 24 Vintage!

Mom: Happy birthday, you are not Mom, you are Supermom! Why your shirt doesn't have an S? I don't know; these are the mysteries of life I suppose!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Sole 2 Sole

Foot on left: 43  Foot on right: not quite 7.  We will soooooooooooo be sharing flipflops within 2 years. YES!

Romes has had the cutest and most interesting feet since day 1. His 3rd toe is equally as long as his 2nd, which is quite novel.  Not sure where he got these feet, will have to look at the other side of the family someday.  Now I have to go look at Lanes' feet and see where she got them.  Definitely NOT my feet! Truly, I think she has the feet, eyes, and "don't cross me" attitude of Leura Connally Griffitts (my dad's mom).  Don't mess with Texas!!!

Manscaping 2.0

A BACK shaver for MEN!  Yesssssssssssss!

I am loving that now men can be as inconvenienced as women about body hair.  Look at the telescoping wand.  Battery operated?  I don't know, but dude certainly needs a mirror to get everything off.  And how far down can that wand reach?!?  Not shown in this ad...

Superman recently got his inner ears AND nose waxed., can you say painful?!?!?  But so, so clean...awesome -- I'm a fan...and the aesthetician -- a hilarious story, but I can't do it justice on LoSpace.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Say Hello to My Little Friend

I was edging my yard this morning with my old hand me down trimmer and ran out of string (or whatever that plastic stuff is called) and thinking edging is so frustrating anyway. I had to stop every 4 or 5 feet and turn it over to pull more plastic string because really, who can actually do the tap thing and make more come out (don't answer that...). Anyway, the whole time I'm thinking "there must be a better way" and "seriously, I didn't even want any grass, but it's here so I'd better take care of it..." followed by some choice swear words.

So I went to Home Depot to get more string and finish the job, and spotted the 14-inch "no bumping required" double string Grass Hog for $10 off -- um, you had me at "no bumping" so the discount was frosting. I'm out in the garden center and there are at least four female clerks milling around, so I go up to pay and Trish my new Home Depot best friend pages Justin to come out and narrate the operating information. Then another woman comes over and says she has this trimmer, it's great, and Trish calls Justin back to cancel the page because "We don't need a man out here."

I had to try it out when I got home and basically massacred my yard edges, if that is indeed a verb. This thing is fast and lethal to the grass. I need to figure out where to hold it and then -- GOLDEN!! So, I think this implement needs a name -- ideas??  Maybe Edgar?!?! Edgerrin?!?! Anyway, I'm pretty sure Mr. Choppy is taken but I'm open to suggestions.

Friday, June 18, 2010

My Dad and Foot Twin

I don't know why this picture is so funny. I have very few pics with my Dad. This is right before leaving for the airport June 17 2010, chilly day in Btown...thus the insulated vest (he jokingly prounounces it "insulted" which I think is hilarious). I am wearing flip flops for airport security convenience.  Dad is wearing Whites Boots; they weigh a ton. The kids are yelling "Bye Poppa Jim" from the back seat of Linda's truck. Followed by Dad playing "Old Susanna" on the harmonica Linda inexplicably gave Laney as a parting gift just before we headed out of town.

Random fact: my dad and I have the same feet.  There is an old blog about this...Now, let it be said that I did not get Dad's hands, but Diane did. Genetics are weird.  My sister Linda is my voice twin I guess it's all relative.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Good Morning Girl!

If you knew a little darling
Cornflower blue
And greeted her
Good morning
And she sang to you
And the bluebells rang
And you held her too
Sing good morning
Delaney Rylan
Darling sweet, sweet blue!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me

Good day, beautiful Boise summer sky, sunshine, thank you universe for 2010!!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Scamper Hits Sky Harbor Like Lindsay Lohan on a Bender...

I don't know why her name is Scamper, but she's sassy. She goes to the airport with no clothes and she orders a grande iced nonfat Americano. Scamper doesn't care that the coffee drink is almost bigger than's that kind of party.

Seriously, a woman at the airport actually commented that Scamper had no clothes.  IT'S A DOLL!!! Lady, you're lucky my daughter has clothes on!!!

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Potentially Crappy Situation

I have taken this medication before, at least 10 times over the past 15 years. I never received this warning before. They stuck it on the top where it can't be ignored -- hmmm, must be important.  But -- and this is a big BUT -- "weeks to months" later?!?!  How on earth can I possibly correlate October diarrhea with June meds?  Also, note the lack of specificity if the late effect diarrhea is as severe as the initial ...

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Best Ad from Best Buy: End Your Phone Shame Today

I guess Best Buy has a sense of humor too...this ad was soooooooooooo me. In fact, I didn't even take my phone out of my purse in the T-Mobile store when I went to look at new phones. But I loved my old phone...the Dash.  For three years.  Even its name said "sassy." I finally let Dash go and upgraded to the Motorola Cliq XT.  All touchscreen, no physical keyboard. I am using maybe 10% of its functionality (kinda like our brains, so that's all good, right?). My favorite app is the current weather for my zip code. Basically, I'm like an old person with that. I like the voice searches on Google Maps and "closest Starbucks location" too.  Truly groundbreaking.  I'm now caught up to approximately 2007 with the technology. Someday I might download a song or something...

I'd like to thank all my friends, family, and the HCBC for being with me through that dark time with no data and only 1000 text messages a month.  Now I'm unlimited -- talk on!

Monday, May 31, 2010

Scrabble Cards Secret Message

This is how Lanes left them this afternoon when we headed out for swimming.  Let me know if you can decipher the message.  Or maybe it's her version of DIY Boggle...

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Lanes Last Day of Two Day!

Lanes attended T-Th preschool for the past year and will be moving up to the M-W-F class starting in August.  This makes a great transition to kindergarten in August 2011. Next year is going to be great! 
From Thursday, her "last day of school" pose:

A hug from a beautiful teacher:

Lanes ringing endorsement:
Q: Do you like school at Miss Stacey's?
A: Yeah. I like the part...with the bubbles.

It just doesn't get much better than that...

Saturday, May 29, 2010

MVD, Wake Up!

It's a little hard to make out in spite of judicious photo editing, but this license plate reads DUBL D.  Hmmm, what does that imply to you? Yeah, right, a couple named Donald and Dorothy.  Suuuuuuuuuuuuure. 

I thought the MVD was supposed to monitor these for content!  Maybe that job was eliminated somewhere in the last round of budget cuts.  This one is good, but not as funny as Kelly G's report of "KY LADY" -- regardless that she is probably from Kentucky, WHY would you want that on your license plate???

Now that you can just go online to order your plate, maybe the computer system just makes sure there's no (obvious) profanity.  My last vanity plate was ITSCUTE for a Chevy crew cab short bed truck. Because it WAS cute...then several years and vehicles later, I got a letter from the MVD saying another person requested ITSCUTE -- and I already had the unvanity-able energy plate for the hybrid, so now someone else's car is cute.

PS that's right, in AZ it's not DMV it's MVD (Motor Vehicle Department).
PPS saying "VIN number" is redundant.

Someone Out There Like Me...

The locked position of the knob is counter-intuitive, so someone with a label maker clarified it. Now I can pee in peace...bravo!

Photo credit: medical office building near Chandler Regional.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Favorite Lines from Current Songs....

In no particular order, and not necessarily representative of my situation:

If you want more love, why don't you say so?

Still alive, but I'm barely breathin' ... praying to a god that I don't believe in...

This time baby, I'll be bullet proof!

Gotta live like we're dyin!

Photo credit: New Zealand Feb 2009, my crappy camera - nice!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Happy Bday Big Sis!

No one could ask for a better big sister! Thanks for everything you do for me and the whole family and I'm sending love and hugs. As we discussed earlier -- 2010 is great!! No more drive-thru!!

Yes we all went to the same orthodontist...

Photo credit: 2005 at Cousint Mike's 50Bday...

Sit Down Because This IS Gonna Rock Your World...

Ok people I hope you're ready for nintendo's earth shaking innovation . . . the "all new Wii -- now available in BLACK" mean, black? Black is in .... black? Wow. Now the Wii comes in the same color as, um, every other electronic component. What will they think of next?!?!  Remember how Henry Ford said it in the 1920's? The Model T: "people can have it in any color, so long as it's black"...hey, Nintendo, to quote another product slogan "You've come a loooooooooooong way, baby!"  NOT.

How 'bout Dell's color innovation?!  Here's one I can get behind:
A nail polish colored laptop! Thanks Dell and OPI -- now that's some impressive color...who even cares about the processor speed when you can get Kyoto Pearl, La-PAZ-atively Hot, and I'm Not Really A Waitress???  OPI + Dell, LoSpace loves you...

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Don't Take LoSpace's Space...

I go to this Starbucks at lunch time and recharge my laptop, do some wifi, and make phone calls.  This girl, pictured above, was all taking up my preferred corner (with the outlet where I recharge) and complaining loudly about her lodging denying her breakfast because she was ONE minute late...ummm, girlfriend, two words: BALANCE BAR... they pack and travel pretty well. Plus once you're at Starbucks you can get coffee, hey that's what they're all about...(dial tone) hello, I'm on planet REALITY!!!!  Now, in the future, don't take LoSpace's SPACE sista!!!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Strange Stress Relief...

levitating lounge chair (from 25 most ridiculous stress relief products)

The Personal Rockin’ Computer umm... chair (?) gently swings back and forth while you dally on your laptop. Retails for US$4,082 from a Swedish web site -- and no, the beautiful woman is not included.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

always new Lois

This is right on sooooo many levels.  Wonder where these jeans were made? Oh, they're European...that explains why my sister saw them on a butt in Delphi,'s a nice web quote about the brand:

The ultra-fashionable Lois Jeans  jeans, (pronounced "Loys"). Cotton/lycra fabric in a variety of finishes and washes for a classic boot-cut or contemporary fit. Great  to wear with our new spring selection of clothing - with a fantastic fit on or off your horse 'cause they have a little stretch.

Obviously, I now really really need a pair -- look how much fun you can have in them!!!!  Bow chicka wow wow!  Also, looks like I have to get them from Canada or the UK.

Lois Jeans:  IT'S ON!!!