Iron(y)man Treadmill

So, I decided to buy a new treadmill. Being a cheapskate at heart, I turned to the best source of deals: craigslist. All hail Craig (who actually exists -- I saw him on The Daily Show).

So I start looking at the treadmills under sporting goods. Because I guess exercise is a sport? Whatever. Anyway, the ad postings for used treadmills are, as you might expect, hilarious.

One read something like: "Treadmill for sale. Like new -- perfect condition -- mint condition!" As if the person couldn't stress enough exactly how little it had been used. So I look for awhile, and stumble onto the above gem -- the Ironman Envision -- it's pretty high end, they're selling it on Costco.com now. So I check it out, it is completely new, pretty much just been stored and sold. I do end up buying it and the seller even delivers it to me -- sweet!

The downside of new (to me) treadmill becomes apparent once it's in my home. The thing positively reeks of cigarette smoke. Viewed under black light I think you might actually seen a green fog around it. So -- the irony -- a treadmill that smells like smoke. Yes, it's like new, because the original owner just sat, looking at it, and smoking 17 cartons of cigs.

If you can get past the stench, the thing works great! It has a little TV screen (presumably to watch TV while you're smoking?), I-pod hookup, fan, cup holders -- the works! So I get busy. It's just stink, right? I start wiping it down with Clorox wipes and spraying the non-electronic parts with Febreze. It becomes clear that the stink is really in the belt -- so I Febreze that every time I walk by.

Day 5: Febreze seems to be doing the trick. Now I can actually enter the 3 foot odor zone without feeling like I've run into a bar at 3am (before Arizona's non-smoking laws came into effect). All hail Febreze. Next step: actually use the thing, so I don't have to post it on craigslist, still in minty fresh (and Febrezed) condition.