Thoughts and photos by Lois. It's supposed to be funny, or thought-provoking, or both.

Friday, September 19, 2008

They're Called "Athletic" Thighs . . .

So my friend Myra gives me some Lucky Jeans -- they have shrunk and are now too short for her. It is sad that I wear the same size jeans as someone 4 inches taller than me, but . . . oh well, you win some and you lose some, jeans and genes.

I do not want to hem them, which would require getting out my darling vintage portable Bernina sewing machine, which is older than me, so I try shrinking them . . . at this point I must explain that the salesperson at Lucky Jeans said you can shrink them several inches in the dryer (thus the hand-me-down from Myra, because they did shrink in length -- too much!). After some hot water/hot dryer therapy, the jeans seem a little shorter -- but here's the catch: now the thighs fit perfectly BUT they are too long and too big in the waist. In fact, the thighs are now tight enough to hold up the top of the pants! The athletic thighs strike again!

Yes, I call them athletic thighs -- and in their honor, I have created the Shawn Johnson Athletic Thighs Award. I love this girl -- what an athlete. In fact, if you do not love Shawn, just feel free to move to China right now. And through judging manipulation that will surprise no one, I have awarded the inaugural SJAT medal to myself!! In closing, may I say, "You go Shawn -- kicking @$$ for athletic thighs everywhere!"

Unfortunately, in a cruel twist of fate, these jeans would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long for Shawn . . .

7 comments:

Paula said...

Lois, you are sooo funny!

Queen B said...

the better to do a round-off-back-handspring with, right? :)

Kim Thomas said...

I have athletic thighs as well.....

KFuj said...

I call them swimmer thighs... Lois I am with you. I always have to wear a belt do to my @$$ & swimmer thighs and a smaller waist... BUT I always have to get things hemmed since I am 5 ft 2 inches on a good day :-)

Andrea said...

I too have athletic thighs and can't tell you the number of pants/jeans that by fit fine through the thighs and tush, but the waste is so big that I can basically pull them off without unbuttoning/unzipping. Good thing when you REALLY have to go; bad thing when you are walking to a meeting and can feel your pants slowly falling off you.

My recommendation for the too long pants...get some sassy heels and rock it out!!

Now, is there anyway that we can address athletic calves, because I have those as welll?

Jinjer said...

I let my jeans stay long and just get a tad frayed on the bottoms. That's because I not only have "athletic thighs" but I am also as short as they come Uuugh!

Jane said...

I love Lucky jeans, they are the only ones I can get long enough

Too bad you and Maya are sticks